OMAHA, Neb. — This was last Thursday evening. The clamor of the Men’s College World Series would start the next day at Charles Schwab Field, but six miles east at St. Joseph Cemetery, all was peaceful. The coach of the Virginia baseball team had come to visit his father.
“I took a couple of hours and went over and sat at his gravesite and sat in the grass,” Brian O’Connor would say later. “It was the first time that I had been back to his gravesite since we buried him. I just went over there to spend a little time and reflect and remind myself of all the great lessons and things he instilled in me.”
His father John had been gone just over seven months, taken last November at the age of 82 by Alzheimer’s. So Brian sat alone in his memories and his mourning. Then he returned to his team. Virginia's first game in the CWS against Florida was the next evening. And something else explained why this two-hour slice of solitude was so important. Sunday was Father’s Day, Brian O’Connor’s first without a father.
Virginia head coach, Brian O'Connor, reflects on memories of his father and the Men's College World Series. x
— NCAA Baseball (@NCAABaseball)
By Sunday, his Cavaliers were in a must-win situation against TCU; the loser would be the first team to go home from Omaha. It would be a busy and nervous day for the mother of the Virginia coach. But first, she wanted to stop at that same cemetery.
Barb O’Connor had a Virginia Cavaliers flag to put on her husband’s grave. Also flowers. Also a baseball with the Virginia logo. Brian had sent that since he couldn’t be there himself, with the win-or-else TCU game only hours away.
“John is in Brian’s heart right now,” Barb said later, standing near her seat at the ballpark, blinking through tears. “He really wishes his dad were here. But like he said, he’s watching over us.”
How good would a Father’s Day win have been for Brian, for Barb, for the whole O’Connor family? Alas, the baseball gods of Omaha can be notably unsentimental. Plus, TCU’s pitching was too good. Virginia was evicted 4-3. Yet another one-run thriller, the fourth in the first five CWS games of 2023. Another was Virginia's 6-5 loss to Florida Friday.
The emotion on this day for Brian O’Connor can be understood with pictures and a plaque.
There is the one of a Little League team from long ago; a bunch of kids from Council Bluffs, Iowa, just across the Missouri River from downtown Omaha and Charles Schwab Field. On the second row, hand on one knee, is No. 5, a Little Leaguer sorta smiling. That’s Brian, future College World Series coach. In front of him is No. 8, his younger brother Kelly. And standing at the end of the third row is a man with a shirt that simply reads COACH. John O’Connor, a Council Bluffs native son who was a long-time cemetery manager and founder of a monument company, and always found time to coach his sons’ youth teams.
There is another more recent picture of John. He’s wearing a Virginia cap and shirt and eye black and holding up a cold one, smiling at the camera during a late-night celebration in 2015 after Virginia had just won the national championship. The 2-by-3 picture is prominent in Brian’s garage. When he goes off to work each day, when he comes home to his high school sweetheart and wife, his father is looking back at him. “I just thought it would be a great spot for it . . . as a reminder of the most important lessons that he taught me,” Brian once said. “He taught me what dedication looked like.”
Then there is the plaque. It’s on a seat in Disharoon Park back in Charlottesville, just above and to the left of the backstop, in row M, section 111. That’s where John usually sat to watch his son’s team play. These words on the plaque: Devoted husband, proud dad and grandpa, and forever Coach’s biggest fan.
“I missed him this year,” Brian said in a recent interview back home. “The reality of life.”
Barb O’Connor understands that, too. She and John were married for 55 years and raised three sons. She still lives in the same Council Bluffs house, so a Virginia appearance in the CWS always means Brian is coming home. He said last week how much he was looking forward to giving his mom a hug and kiss.
“When I first read that,” she said on Sunday, “I started crying.”
On this Father’s Day, the mother looks at her middle son and sees so much of her husband. “His character, his demeanor, just caring for everyone. John knew no strangers and he had so many friends, and so does Brian. He always looked like my side of the family but oh my gosh, now he looks just like his dad.” Also the work ethic. “When he’d come back to see us, he was doing things around the house for us that my husband couldn’t do anymore, working in the yard. We have like, three acres.”
Brian has come home to coach in the College World Series many times before, with the raging success he has made of the Virginia program. The most recent before this week was two years ago, when the Cavaliers were eliminated by Texas 6-2 in a game that was delayed four hours by weather and didn’t end until nearly 2 a.m. John was 81 then.
“I said to him, do you want to go home? He wasn’t in the best of health,” said Barb, who still clearly remembers her ailing husband’s answer.
Nope, I’m staying until the bitter end.
That would be the last time he saw his son on the field at a College World Series. Barb mentioned Sunday how special that moment is now. Also 2015. “I’m glad his dad got to see him win a championship,” she said.
Three hours later, Virginia was out of the 2023 College World Series. The Cavaliers own the nation’s finest team batting average but struggled to get five hits against TCU. The offensive silence allowed the Horned Frogs to get away with leaving 12 runners on base.
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It feels so great to get here. Not so great when you’re the first team to leave.
“Two one-run losses certainly hurt,” O’Connor said afterward. “I feel for our guys because they’ve had a terrific year. That said, they didn’t win and that’s our goal, to win here in Omaha and give us a chance to win a national championship. And we certainly fell short of that.
“It comes down to those final little details in Omaha . . . Sometimes you just don’t do it because your opponent’s very talented as well.”
O'Connor wasn’t alone when TCU got the final outs Sunday afternoon to end his team's season. His dad had been there all game. Actually he'd been there all tournament, his brother John said.
“For sure. He’s always with me," Brian said. "When you have that kind of relationship and the impact that our dads make on our lives, they’re with you every day because of the lessons they instilled in you and the values they instilled. Because of that, that carries on forever.”
Especially on this day, in this place. A couple of blocks up the street — you can see it over the centerfield bleachers — is the Hilton. That’s where the party roared in 2015, and John O’Connor smiled for the picture that now hangs in his son’s garage. St. Joseph Cemetery is just across the river. John managed the place for years and his sons worked. Brian trimmed weeds, dug graves, even helped lower caskets. Now his dad is buried there, on Sunday with a flag and baseballs and flowers to mark the spot. And the green grass where Brian had sat alone days before.
It didn’t work out for Virginia Sunday so it was time to go home. Pretty sure thing that Brian O'Connor had a big hug for his mother. Father’s Day at the College World Series.
